People often ask you - "whats the goal in your life??" or "what are the goals of your life??".. They ask a reframed version of the same when you are small - "what do you want to be when you grow up??".. Its pretty much a difficult question to answer.. particularly when you have too many things that you want to do.. As a kid, its a relatively easy answer.. "I wanna be a doctor" or "I wanna be a pilot" or "I wanna be like my dad".. :)
My friend and I had had some interesting discussions long ago when we were in school.. and some of the things that she told me are treasures..
We were talking abt some tests and stuff .. I was as usual "cribbing" about low marks in english, saying - "I dont think suchu (the teacher) would ever let me cross 50 da.. Why the hell dont I ever seem to score more?? You say what I write is not wrong.. then how come its different from what suchu expects"..
I think I must have said a little too much of the same thing and she got bugged.. Finally my friend (my counseller) said .. "Before you say any further, tell me one thing.. how important are these marks to you?? As in very important or so so??"..
I thought a bit and said.. "hmm.. very important I guess.. cmon da.. its going to affect my board results and over all pecentage and stuff.. so it has to be important"..
Her quick comeback was "oh.. so you think these marks (that too in english) hold the ultimate importance for you?? through out life?? Is that the goal of your life??"..
"hmm.. I dont know about goal and stuff.. but after all these percentages are going to be important when I am going to get a job and all.. "
She laughed and said .. "Probably.. But I think you are kinda off track in your things-of-importance.. Tell me one more thing.. what do you want to be at the end of your life??"
"I really dont know.. I havent thought that much about my life.."
"Fine.. Imagine you are on your death bed.. What would be your thoughts at that time??"
I was taken unawares by that question.. "huh?? hmm.. I am thinking.. what could possibly be the last thought.. thats a difficult question to think about NOW da.. there would be soo many things running in your mind.."
"True.. what would be the last one??"
"No idea.."
"How does it sound - You thought about these english marks just before you died?? "
"yuck.. oh plzz.. that would be the last thing on my mind.."
"Yet they are so important to you NOW that you are spending precious moments of your life cribbing.. when they are definitely are not going to be the "last" thing on your mind.. "
I didnt know what to say.. Something rang true.. yet something was not right.. It seemed as though I had gotten all my priorities wrong..
"hmm.. I dont kno what to say"..
"Well, you dont have to say anything.. Just get one thing right.. Think about what would be your last thoughts when you are going to die.. that would definitely help you to focus on whats important and not important in life.."
Long after we parted, I thought a lot about her words.. the more I thought, the more sense they made.. After all, when I am on my death bed, its not important that I was once a wild kid with weird ideas.. Neither is it important that I got scolded in my 5 standard for not attending the prayer.. Nor is it going to flash that I screwed up my history map in the exam.. or that I carried home the English grammer answer paper by mistake and scored the least in the class..
Its not going to make a difference whether I got a new music system or that I didnt get the bike I badly wanted.. Its no use being angry on my mom that she wouldnt let me have a night out at my friend's place.. The fights with my bro or disagreements with friends would be things of the long-forgotten past.. I could probably try and forget the Bad experiences and recall some of the Good ones.. but there would be too many and too little time to decide which one I would want to think about.. I didnt want to think that I couldnt visit the grand canyons or that I didnt get to try a bite of mushroom or the taste of pinacolada..
Ultimately, I figured out that on my death bed, I would want the the last thought to be that "I was happy and satisfied.. that I had lived my life fully and completely.. that I had no regrets.. and knew that I would be missed when I am gone".. It then struck me that I had hit upon the "Ultimate Goal" of my Life - to be satisfied and to have no regrets at the End..
Thanks to my friend's "Ultimate advice", I am striving hard to achieve my goal.. I do and experience Whatever I Want.. Make most of every moment I breath.. Never hold back my Desires.. Forgive and Forget.. And Live Life as if there is no Tommorrow.. :)
