at·trac·tion/əˈtrakSHən/
| Noun: |
|
Why am I writing this now ? After all these years, the first post I pen down is to be Attraction ? You might think I am crazily in love with someone to pick this for a topic, which as far from the truth as it gets. I have had my fair share of experiments with love and I am good with not experimenting any more.
Well, to cut a very long story short, my friend MM seems to think that I am good at writing (Thank you, MM, thank you.. hope you feel that way at the end of this post) and feels that I should restart my electronic-outbursts (like I call them) :D. . So I thought I should "write" while the iron is still hot.
That explains why I want to write but not why I want write about what I am writing. Such convoluted naan-sense is possible only when your finely honed cognitive skills have been dimmed by the after-effects of alcohol. And you guessed it right. A cup of wine did the trick (actually drinking it rapidly instead of savoring it did the actual trick).
Well, the first topic that came to my cotton-wool-filled mind was something that I have been trying to resolve for quite sometime now. Attraction.
To be precise, attraction to someone I am not supposed to be attracted to (as per society's rules). Try as I might, I am not able to come to terms with this and that's what been a thorn in my side for the past 5 years (now that I think about it).
At first, I thought it was yet-another-crush of mine, the one where I am all ga-ga (not Lady gaga ga-ga but sufficiently ga-ga !) about the person in question for a full week before the steam goes out and I find him as ordinary as yet-another-human-being-on-this-planet.
However, the long-term attraction I have been experiencing has only intensified over this period of time and my attempts at analyzing my feelings seem futile as they do not seem to make it any easier to understand the rational behind this.
The only thing that I can state is that it seems to be a combination of awe, respect and something else that I am not able to find a word for. Love ? No, that does not seem to be it. Affection ? Probably yes.
Every time I see him or think of him, the feelings stir. I try to recall all the well-reasoned excuses in order to justify my feelings however everything falls flat when I just admit that
I am plainly attracted to him and I wish to God, we could be together. However, everything happens for a reason. Admitting that I am attracted to him saves me the trouble of having to deny it. Admit it. Accept it. That is the only way to get over it.
The more I try to resist, the stronger the feelings get. Its all very simple. Your brain is wired to give into temptations. The more you resist temptations, the more your brain tries to hold on to the temptations and nag you into giving into them. The antidote for this medicine is simply give yourself the choice to give into temptation. Just do it and think about dealing with the consequences later.
The Universe has weird ways of handing things to you; things that make you feel like you are inept, moronic and completely incapable of handling the situation. However, the one thing that helps me get through this state is a statement that M made few months ago. She said, "Jyo, the Universe has brought you into this world and the Universe knows how to take care of you. Trust that. Believe that. Have Faith in that".
Sometimes you just have to let things be. The more you think about things, the more muddled they seem. Thus, when I think too hard, my brain heats up. (Did you know that thinking is an exothermic reaction ? Well, thanks to M, I learnt that interesting fact last month.) Anyways, having heated by brain enough to cook an omelette over my head, the following is my observation. Attraction can be at multiple levels - Intellectual, Physical, Emotional or Psychological. However, I take the liberty to add yet another kind of attraction to this list - "Unconditional". When attraction has "Unconditional-ism" for a basis, that is the beginning of Love.
No comments:
Post a Comment